Akpos was trying to avoid paying doctor's fee after an eyes operation, so he says, "doctor, I still can't see"
The doctor then asks a sexy young and beautiful nurse to undress in front of him. Akpos then says "I can't see!"
Doctor tells nurse to open her legs again. Akpos says "doctor I can't see still."
The doctor answered "You are stupid, if you can't see, HOW COME YOU ARE HAVING AN ERECTION? Nurse, prepare his bill please!"
Tuesday 25 November 2014
Thursday 13 November 2014
Temple of The Lord
Akpos and Esther were to get married in one week.
Two days to their wedding, Esther decides to stay in Akpos's house. In the middle of the night, Akpos got aroused and started touching Esther's breasts.
Esther got angry and told Akpos that her body is the temple of the lord.
And just when she thought it was over, Akpos answered saying, "Then let me worship there."
Two days to their wedding, Esther decides to stay in Akpos's house. In the middle of the night, Akpos got aroused and started touching Esther's breasts.
Esther got angry and told Akpos that her body is the temple of the lord.
And just when she thought it was over, Akpos answered saying, "Then let me worship there."
Empty Stomach
AKPOS: I've got a stomach ache.
MUM: That's because you haven't eaten and your stomach is empty, so it hurts.
AKPOS: Now I know why daddy has headaches all the time. His head must be empty too.
MUM: That's because you haven't eaten and your stomach is empty, so it hurts.
AKPOS: Now I know why daddy has headaches all the time. His head must be empty too.
Akpos girlfriend and the love for gifts.
Akpos girlfriend and the love for gifts.
"Honey I miss you, what are you getting me for EMEKA's burial?"
"Honey I miss you, what are you getting me for EMEKA's burial?"
Wednesday 12 November 2014
No Idea
Akpos was in the classroom one day and his teacher asked him a question.
TEACHER: Akpos! what do you call a deer with no eyes?
AKPOS: ''No idea" ma.
TEACHER: Akpos! what do you call a deer with no eyes?
AKPOS: ''No idea" ma.
Example Of Pronouns
TEACHER: Today you'll give an example of a pronoun each and form a sentence with it.
JOHN: HER
TEACHER: Ok, your sentence?
JOHN: Give her her book. It's hers.
TEACHER: That's good. Yes who's next?
AKPOS: HIM
TEACHER: Your Sentence?
AKPOS: Give him him book. It's hims.
JOHN: HER
TEACHER: Ok, your sentence?
JOHN: Give her her book. It's hers.
TEACHER: That's good. Yes who's next?
AKPOS: HIM
TEACHER: Your Sentence?
AKPOS: Give him him book. It's hims.
Ready For Sex
Akpos patronises a prostitute. This is the conversation that ensued between them:
PROSTITUTE: Hi honey. Are you ready to have sex?
AKPOS: Yes. But If only you can f**k me the way my wife does.
PROSTITUTE: Yes na! How does she do it?
AKPOS: She does it for FREE!
PROSTITUTE: Hi honey. Are you ready to have sex?
AKPOS: Yes. But If only you can f**k me the way my wife does.
PROSTITUTE: Yes na! How does she do it?
AKPOS: She does it for FREE!
How Many Girls
WIFE: Sweety, how many girls did you date before you met me?
AKPOS: (quiet)
WIFE: (5 minutes later) Sweety, I asked you a question!
AKPOS: Will you just keep quiet and let me count!
AKPOS: (quiet)
WIFE: (5 minutes later) Sweety, I asked you a question!
AKPOS: Will you just keep quiet and let me count!
Akpos Opinions On Cartoons
How do we expect our kids to be good, when they watch bad cartoons like the ones below:
Ben 10 can change into 10 demons.
Tarzan is always half naked.
Tom & Jerry are always fighting.
Cinderella comes back home at midnight.
Pinocchio lies all the time.
Aladdin is the king of thieves.
Batman drives at 320km/h.
Sleeping beauty is a lazy girl.
Rapunzel allows men to climb in her window and
Snow white is living with 7 guys.
Come on, really, how do we expect these kids to be any good?
Ben 10 can change into 10 demons.
Tarzan is always half naked.
Tom & Jerry are always fighting.
Cinderella comes back home at midnight.
Pinocchio lies all the time.
Aladdin is the king of thieves.
Batman drives at 320km/h.
Sleeping beauty is a lazy girl.
Rapunzel allows men to climb in her window and
Snow white is living with 7 guys.
Come on, really, how do we expect these kids to be any good?
Tattooed Penis
Akpos, after convincing Judith that he was good in bed, finally got her to his room for demonstration.
While he took off his clothes, tattooed on his arm was REEBOK, on his chest PUMA and on his back D&G.
She thought that was sexy, but when he took off his boxers on his penis was AIDS.
Judith, suddenly apprehensive, declined the demonstration. Then Akpos said to her, "Relax babe, when it's erect, it reads ADIDAS."
While he took off his clothes, tattooed on his arm was REEBOK, on his chest PUMA and on his back D&G.
She thought that was sexy, but when he took off his boxers on his penis was AIDS.
Judith, suddenly apprehensive, declined the demonstration. Then Akpos said to her, "Relax babe, when it's erect, it reads ADIDAS."
Cold As Ever
Akpos and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their
40th wedding anniversary.
AKPOS yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah" she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
AKPOS yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah" she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
Expensive Girlfriend
AKPOS: Hi girl
GIRL: Yes, how can I help you?
AKPOS: I want you to be my girlfriend.
GIRL: Do you work in a bank?
AKPOS: No.
GIRL: Do you earn salary?
AKPOS: No.
GIRL: Do you have an apartment?
AKPOS: No.
GIRL: Do you have a range rover?
AKPOS: No.
GIRL: Then, there no way on earth I'll be your girlfriend.
AKPOS: But, what do I need an apartment for when I have a duplex in lekki? What do I need a range rover for when I have a porche, two ferraris, and a bugatti? Why do I need a salary when I'm the owner of two multi million dollar companies?
GIRL: Ok, I'm ready to be your girlfriend
AKPOS: No, not a chance!
GIRL: Yes, how can I help you?
AKPOS: I want you to be my girlfriend.
GIRL: Do you work in a bank?
AKPOS: No.
GIRL: Do you earn salary?
AKPOS: No.
GIRL: Do you have an apartment?
AKPOS: No.
GIRL: Do you have a range rover?
AKPOS: No.
GIRL: Then, there no way on earth I'll be your girlfriend.
AKPOS: But, what do I need an apartment for when I have a duplex in lekki? What do I need a range rover for when I have a porche, two ferraris, and a bugatti? Why do I need a salary when I'm the owner of two multi million dollar companies?
GIRL: Ok, I'm ready to be your girlfriend
AKPOS: No, not a chance!
Hello Baby
(Phone rings)
AKPOS: Hello baby.
GIRLFRIEND: Hey, can you please deposit 500 bucks for me? I want to go out to the mall with my friends!
AKPOS: Do you think you should be going out in your condition baby?
GIRLFRIEND: What condition?
AKPOS: Unemployed and Broke?
GIRLFRIEND: (hangs up)
AKPOS: Hello baby.
GIRLFRIEND: Hey, can you please deposit 500 bucks for me? I want to go out to the mall with my friends!
AKPOS: Do you think you should be going out in your condition baby?
GIRLFRIEND: What condition?
AKPOS: Unemployed and Broke?
GIRLFRIEND: (hangs up)
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